that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
