Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
