my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
he was CRYING into my vagina
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
