so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
