her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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