whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
