No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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