Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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