If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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