Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
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