I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Houston, we have a squirter
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
