watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
