Define "chronic" masturbator.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
