You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize