How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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