i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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