pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
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