Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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