After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Randomize
