Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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