Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
