dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize