would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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