I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
i barfeds in our rink
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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