how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Randomize
