More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Life is so much better after having sex.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
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