I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
