Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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