You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
