My first STD was from a foam party
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
My liver is preforming stress tests.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
