Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
