everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
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