I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
