Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I need a hoe opinion
go on
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
