Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Randomize
