the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Are my feet made of real feet?
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
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