I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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