You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
