btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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