went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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