I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
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