good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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