last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize