Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Randomize
