batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
i now understand why vodka
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
