Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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