ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Randomize
