Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I am midnight drunk by noon
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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