She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Randomize
