I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
All I want is dick and wine.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
