Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
