Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
So much rum. So many feels.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
