I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
