She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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